The biggest thing in my life
so far...
I don't want to dwell on this section so I will share bits a pieces without going into full detail. I will add In a link from the newspaper article I was part of in 2013.
13th November 2008 aged 18, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. It completely shook my world I didn't even understand what cancer really was. I was working part time for one stop convince store in Solihull along with a full time level 3 child care course, I couldn't be ill.
By Tuesday 23rd November 2008 I was hooked up to chemotherapy on the Young Persons Unit in the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham, U.K.
I met some really wonderful people, that really helped me come to terms with this sickness. Sadly not all the people on my ward survived there own cancer battle and I feel like I owe them my life. I have made a promise to myself on behalf of my YPU friends that I will live my life fully.
I had 6 cycles of chemo which really knocked me around at one stage it was touch and go if I was going to live. Having cancer and beating it is my greatest achievement.
Along with chemotherapy I had an operation in March 2009 to remove one of my ovaries. Which wasn't so bad because I had two. By June 2009 I was well on the road to recovery wearing a wig and doing everything your average 19 year old was doing, clubbing, smoking, eating, sleeping and moaning.
I was getting my life back on track until November 2011 came along. I was having bad back pain so I went to see my oncologist Sarah Williams. Once you have cancer you automatically assume every twinge means it's back. I had scans etc which showed my 2cm x 2cm cyst on my last ovary had grew and was actually 20cm x 22cm.
I had a consultation with a surgeon and found out my second ovary had to go, but I had the choice to keep my womb which I still have for now anyway haha.
In December 2011 I had the operation and was completely distraught. I have no children and now I cannot have my own children. The only thing I had ever longed for was to be a mother.
This sent me into a spiral down. Loosing control of my own emotions, I didn't understand anything anymore. My friends were having babies and I hated it IT WASN'T FAIR, I knew it was wrong to be jealous but I couldn't help it, I didn't hate them or their babies I actually hated myself.
I am surrounded by babies and pregnant people and even now I get Jealous I don't think that's ever going to change. All I know is I try every day to be happy now and think of positives, maybe someday I will go through egg donation and carry my child, or I could adopt a baby that I will fall in love with.
I don't know my future.
Here is the link to my Newspaper story.
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